Medical Bills

In my organizing, I found all my "THIS IS NOT A BILL" statements from Overlake.

So, what my insurance paid for my complications during pregnancy, the gall bladder removal surgery, the birth and Starlynn's short stay in the NICU came to a grand total of:

$48,218.30

I'm SO GLAD I had insurance!! Thank you, thank you!!

The Upswing

Isn't life funny? Whenever you're on a role, feeling really motivated you always think to yourself along the lines of "Gosh, I want to just stay like this and keep it going forever." And you do really good, and then one day, you find yourself where I am today and are thinking "I really gotta get back to where I was" or, "I'm going to finally go do this thing I've been wanting to do." Who knows how you got back to complacency, where you need to motivate yourself again, but inevitably, we all end up there again.

But, I am feeling very motivated again now. Maybe since I have passed that magic "6 week mark" with Starlynn, or something... but even though today is Sunday I know... I got into a cleaning FRENZY this morning. I was Cinderella on my hands and knees scrubbing, dusting, sweeping, vacuuming, steaming. I cleaned of every surface I could find. I organized, I got things done. It felt good.

Now all of the sudden I feel like I can think clearly, breathe deeply and do what I want to do.

Part of it could be Garrett encouraging me to start venturing out again. So, besides delving back into writing my book, I am also going to start doing Hot Yoga again a couple times a week. I LOOOOOVVE doing Yoga. It is SO healthy for you and it makes me feel great about myself.

Anyway, do you all know what I'm talking about? I know eventually down the road I'll be thinking to myself "get your butt back in gear Leslie!" But, I have hit that spot again, and we'll see what I can get accomplished this go round!

I've had a good long rest with a wonderful little baby and caring and understanding husband. Now its time for my little family to have some crazy adventures together! :D

My Recommedation to Moms

So, for those who know me really well, know I am fascinated with the 'gospel' teachings that can be found in 'The Secret'. You know that I am fascinated by the power of our minds, and how much we can possibly achieve.

Several years ago, I witnessed a Sunbeam read his talk alone to the primary, and later saw that he had wrote it out himself. I was flabbergasted and completely in awe!

I've also always been intrigued by how much further ahead Oriental kids are than American children.

This got me thinking about teaching my kids to read and write before they ever go to school. Who says they have to wait?

Then, I saw an infomercial about 'Your Baby Can Read"... and I charged it. It was too amazing not to, and they suggest starting them at 3 months at the earliest.

www.yourbabycanread.com

Videos of kids reading:
http://www.yourbabycanread.com/ce-y-success.aspx
These video testimonials are amazing! There are 8 month old babies that can read up to 10 words. They will look at a card that says "arms up" and they'll put their arms up without any adult saying the words out loud, or "smile" and they'll smile! There are clips of 3 years olds reading from Charlotte's Web, out loud, by themselves and COMPREHENDING. There is also a video of a 4 year old reading Charles Dickens A Christmas Carol.

From the website: FAQs

Why should a baby start at just 3 months?
Answer: The best time to begin is when the baby develops visual tracking or the ability to follow moving objects with the eyes -- this is generally by three months of age. There are numerous reasons why parents should start early:
The most natural time to learn any aspect of language is during infancy.
The window of opportunity for learning language begins to close by age four which means it requires more effort to learn language skills after this time.
It is fun to read.
This can be a great bonding experience for babies and parents.
It is easier to learn language skills at a high level in the first few years of life.

Are the babies simply memorizing the words or are they actually reading?
Answer: It is true that the babies initially memorize the shapes of the written words, but over time they will figure out the patterns of the written language in a way that is similar to how they figure out the patterns of the spoken language. Toddlers learn to add an 'ed' to make words to make them past tense or an 's' onto words to make them plural simply from listening to English. We know that they learn these patterns because sometimes a toddler might say "I eated" or "I swimmed" even if they have never heard these words. After the babies memorize enough written words, the child begins to figure out the phonetic patterns of our language. The first 50 words that a child learns to read generally take a long time, but once they know around 50 words they generally learn them at a faster pace.

The same is true with spoken language. Once a child understands around 50 words, the child can remember many words after hearing them only once or twice. This is why it is so important for parents to use many new words with toddlers. Reading is great for this because there are more infrequently used words used in books compared with a person's speech. It usually takes around a hundred written words or so before the child begins to figure out the phonetic patterns. The child will need to learn hundreds of individual words to figure out all of the phonetic patterns in English.

Is early reading placing undue pressure on the parents and babies? Shouldn’t babies just play?
Answer: The natural state of a baby is to be curious and to enjoy learning. Babies and toddlers have tens of thousands of new brain connections forming every second which means they are not making any intentional effort to learn. They learn naturally if they see words at the same time they hear them. Babies and toddlers generally love reading and books. They enjoy the quality time that they receive from their parents. Research shows that the earlier a child is taught to read the more likely the child will actually enjoy reading later in life.

Babies and toddlers have fun playing with words just like they love other types of play. When babies and toddlers learn written language it is in a fun interactive way with a parent instead of in a classroom setting with one teacher and 20 or more children.

So, this is what Starlynn will be doing and I am SOOOOOOOO excited. With my love of reading (and writing), I can't wait to have a little companion to hit the libraries and bookstores with!

Go check it out! Our education system has it wrong. Babies can learn the WRITTEN language as they are learning the SPOKEN language. Its no different than teaching your baby to sign too! Heck, you can go all crazy and teach them ANOTHER language by the time they are 5 as well! (But, I'm not going to do that lol)

You can get a 30-day trial for $14.95. I decided just to buy it outright for $200.

www.yourbabycanread.com

My Worst Critic...

... is me. I get feeling pretty down about my stupid mistakes and just want to beat myself up sometimes! My "learning experiences" are always very expensive too.

Lessons I have learned:

1) Be really careful about selling horses over the internet, especially to someone who wants to buy them sight-unseen. Cost of lesson: Approximately $6,000

2) Don't speed through a school zone while talking on your cell phone. Cost of lesson: $150

3) Don't buy lesson horses without riding them first. Cost of lesson: $4,000

4) Vending machines aren't that hard to figure out. Know how to use them before losing your money. Cost of lesson: $5.25

THE TICKET
So, in January thereabouts, I learned the above lesson #2. The ticket was over $300. I got it deferred for $150. Which means, if I don't get another ticket for a whole year, that ticket will not be put on my driving record. If I do, I have to pay both tickets, and both tickets go on my record.

Well, on our way home from Benton City, Garrett pulled over right at exit 42 because he was having a hard time keeping his eyes open. I just woke up from a little power nap. I get in the driver's seat, pull back on the freeway and start cruisin' for home. Bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep says the radar detector right as a see a cop too because he was hiding around a corner. Did I have any idea I was going 86 in a 70? Not a clue. Of course I am fighting back tears as he gets to the window and asks for my license. I am thinking to myself how stupid I am. I have been doing so good. I have told Garrett several times, I can't speed because I can't get a ticket for a year (or ever really... cuz I don't want anymore). I drove halfway over there this trip, and I never went over 75...set the cruise control and had it down. I'm freaking out about how I am going to pay for it, and imagining how guilty I will feel when our insurance jumps because all of the sudden I have 2 speeding tickets on my record.

The tears couldn't be held back any longer as soon as the cop went back to his car. Garrett was comforting, but I was not ok. I'm so stupid!!!!!!!

To my utter shock, he returned and handed me the stack of stuff, and said "You need to slow down". It took my a minute to realize there was no ticket in that stack of stuff. I think he could see I was shocked, and he went back to his car as soon as I said 'thank you'.

Yes, I continued to cry, this time to let out the negative stress and in gratitude for not getting a ticket.

Garrett was pretty proud of course.

We think the reasons he didn't fry such a big fish as myself is as such: It's the beginning of the month, he still has a while to fill his quota. He probably saw me fighting back tears, and maybe he could see that I had a deferral on there... I don't know. Garrett swears by his firefighter decal. Says cops and fire fighters are like a "brotherhood". Also, I know from experience that cops don't like when you make excuses about why you were speeding. My first pull-over when I was 17 the cop thanked me for not making an excuse to why I was speeding (and I got away without a ticket). Another reason, the cop is nice. But, the #1 reason we think we got out of it is for paying our tithing (finally). So, thanks be to where it belongs.

Sigh.

THE TRUCK
Here's another thing... we haven't been able to make the payment on the big truck for a while. So, I have to try and get a dealership to pay my payoff amount, or get the car repossessed. Which would be bad. When I got the truck, it was a fabulous idea. It was only $50 more a month than my 4-Runner. Our other truck was MESSED UP. Power steering cord would pop off a lot. Electrical system was waaayyy wacky. Air conditioner was messed up. Lots of stuff. So I was going to get a new truck, get the goose-neck hitch put in it, and haul kids to horse shows and make a killing. Well, it all went down hill. My nanny-job payed for it for a while. Then, my dad's checks paid for it for a while, now we just don't have the means. And with a brand-new baby, I just don't see how I can fix this situation in the time-frame it needs to be fixed. But, we're working on it. I think we have something worked out to avoid a repossession.

EQUIVENTURES
When I look back on things I can think things like, "Why did I ever close EQUIVENTURES down?" I have to remind myself why. I had nowhere to teach the kids. We were losing the property, and when fall came around, the footing was too soggy to ride in. Try as I did, I couldn't find another covered area to lease. I was tired. 3-4 years of running my own business, learning hard lessons, on top of the huge court deal with my parents was tearing me to shreds.

Plus, now I have a family. That was definitely something to be gained by following promptings and making the choices that I did.

NANNY
WHY DID I QUIT A $21/hr job?? Because my mental health was on the line. And I missed teaching lessons, so I did that for another summer. Like I could have kept that job with the pregnancy I had anyway. But... thinking about those amazing paychecks I got, and the fact that I don't have them right now is kinda depressing.

CONCLUSION
So, I am trying not to beat myself up to bad about all these lessons I have had to learn the hard (and expensive) way.

I want to clean up all the messes, retain the lessons I have learned, and build again (the right way).

And everytime I bring Starlynn into my arms and feel her soft skin, smell her baby-smell, and get a big grin from her perfect little face, everything in the world is alright. I am so in love with my husband and daughter. I stare at them forever when they're snuggling together.

Anyway, thanks for reading such a long post. I had a lot to get off my chest!

Stretch Marks

I think stretch marks are completely cruel and unfair. We have so much discomfort to deal with in pregnancy, and pain during birth, and then the pain and frustration of breast-feeding, and the intuitive sense of our newborns that keep us women getting up with the baby more than our husbands. Why do we have to deal with stretch marks too? Women already have "am I pretty?" issues, so why add stretch marks? Insult to injury. I didn't get them my whole pregnancy until that last couple weeks when she dropped.

Sorry... I am just mourning the loss of my body. Its worse because my gall bladder scars are still a deep red, and they are "bumps". I don't think they're going away.

I usually just remind myself what I gained when I am sad about what I lost. But it doesn't always work to keep me from getting sad. It just seems overboard. I am just wishing we were made so that stretch marks didn't exist.

:*(

Sigh

Family Outing

Spent another fun, sunny Saturday in Port Orchard riding the Kitsap Live Steamers. We took my neice Ashley and nephew Devon with us, and our dog Atlas.

What we did together:

What Garrett did:

We joined the Kitsap Live Steamers Club and so Garrett gets to help and learn how to run the trains. He worked the switches and also loaded people on the trains, announced the rules, send them on their way and unloaded them when they got back. He helped put a couple derailed trains back on too. He also spent time studying his test material to become a conductor and engineer so soon he will be DRIVING the trains. Fun, fun!

What Starlynn did:

What Ashley did:

What Devon did:

What Atlas did:

We brought Atlas to get the poor dog out of the house. He had fun chasing the ball. Lots of LITTLE kids and bigger kids played with him. He got tuckered out because someone was always throwing his ball! Yay! He was so good and stayed right around us and even had a couple kids choose to play with him over riding the trains. I didn't get any pics of these kids with him, but I wish I would have. He'd be a great therapy dog.

Then, we met up with my mom, Brandon & Rachel and Wendy to see Transformers 2! My mom got us movie gift certificates for our anniversary and we were saving them for Transformers. It was great! Of course, some things could have been left out, but all in all, it was really funny, and really entertaining because of the mesmerizing graphics. But, I don't get why somebody as beautiful as Megan Fox feels she needs to get Botox in her lips. Seriously. Anyway, that was our day!

Just to Blabber

Well, I haven't blogged in a while, so I thought I'd take a minute to.

The roller-coaster is never-ending. My husband and daughter fill me with so much joy, and then other things can stress me out, or THEY can stress me out too. Not so much the baby... but the hubby can for sure.

Monday was a very difficult day. We were driving out to Fall City to "finish up". Just as we're pulling up, I grab Garrett's iPhone to check my e-mail, because I am waiting to hear if these people accepted my counter-offer on Gold Digger. And, they did. So, while I know it's the right thing to do, it still was hard to accept right at that moment that I was actually selling her. Then, at Fall City, I walked around, hanging out mostly in the barn, to say "good-bye" to our home. What a wonderful life it was. I am one of the luckiest little girls to have gotten to grow up there. It was a fantasy-land... a heaven on earth. I loved EQUIVENTURES so much. I have so many wonderful memories. Like going up to the house for a drink while the other ladies taught lessons and looking out my kitchen window down to the barn and seeing 5 or 6 little helmets bobbing up and down.

So, we had a good cry, and now it is over. We are out of there for good now. Not to return unless something out of this world happens. I hope somebody can buy it and return it to its former glory. My #1 wish is that it could be us, but my #2 and more realistic wish is that somebody else will.

Now, I have gone from being Miley Cyrus, where what she has came easily because of who she was, and who her dad was, to Jennifer Nettles in Sugarland where I will have to start at the bottom and work my way to the tip top.

I feel like I WANT to be the "pheonix rising from the ashes". But, I hope this makes sense, I kind of want it to all go to "ashes" first. I just feel like we've been on this major cleansing journey, and we might need to still let go of a few things. And those few things will make life still less-stressful. Then I feel like I can have the "room" and the energy to build it up again. Its just too exhausting to try to hold on to everything AND start over. I've never seen the pheonix stop its burn mid-way and return to the beautiful bird. It goes to ashes first.

Of course I'm mostly talking about financial/professional and hobby life, and lifestyle in general. My world revolves around Garrett and Starlynn now, and for that I am grateful.

I am doing a horrible job trying to convey my feelings. Basically, in a nutshell, it has been hard "losing" so much. But, I am grateful for what I have gained and I feel like I am almost to the point where I can eliminate enough stress to feel comfortable and happy enough to get to that emotional state I know I have to be in to bring back financial and professional success into my life.

There... I think that did it.

Starlynn is great. Growing and growing! And Garrett and I are doing just fine! Not too much to report. But there might be soon... we have an idea!!! (and its not anything about another baby... one is good for now!... just for all you who thinks "good news" means a baby is on the way. lol)